What is to be done? I find myself asking that question a lot lately. I feel like I have this curse on me. This is the curse where the person you want to ask you out doesn't, and not only that, hardly notices you. Meanwhile, the individuals you have no desire to ask you out are of course the ones that do. I ask myself how do I break this curse? Well I guess it takes proactiveness. It is so hard being a girl sometimes, guys just have to go in for "the kill" and ask out a girl. (Granted that is also hard) Girls on the other hand have to set the stage for that final act. Adjust the lightening, the right timing, and scenery to create that situation where a guy will feel like asking you out. Perhaps you wonder why don't I just ask a guy out. Well I have, many times. And have not been satisfied with the results. I find that my strong personality doesn't work well with guys that don't have enough fortitude to ask out a girl.
I am in an interesting situation right now. I am not the type of girl who falls for a guy quickly or easily. For most of my time I'm trekking this life alone, I've learned to live life without that companionship. So for me to actually fall for a guy is a big deal. And I have. But now I'm in this weird situation, I don't know what to do. I don’t know what to do and I can’t seem to remember how to flirt. Flirting with a guy that you know likes you is not a difficult task, but the other way around I'm not quite sure. Guys get spooked easily and it's almost as if you have to wade around in their environment until they become accustom to you being around. Basically like Jack Sparrow and sea turtles. You can slowly move closer without them bolting. The same can be said for girls. I have been in a relationship where everything was just moving too fast and I got spooked and I bolted.
It's been frustrating for me, I'm not my normal opinionated talkative person when I'm around him, I feel like he makes me nervous which is a foreign feeling. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, he is pretty much clueless and I want a guy that likes me for me. With his focus being elsewhere, doesn't know that I'm standing there in front of him. I’ve thought about that a lot, wondering if I have done that very thing. Been so focused on something else in my life that I didn't look up and see him standing there. And maybe he was an amazing guy, and I just didn't see it because I never looked at him. And then when I finally did look up he was gone. I guess only time will tell what is to be done.