I've been thinking about my Mom a lot lately. And I was thinking about all the things that I have learned from her. All of which have influenced my life and what kind of mother I want to be.
One thing that I found to be amazing about my Mother was her patience. Whenever we did something wrong or when we messed up she would basically say "Ok, how can we fix this?" It's been a great lesson for me, sometimes the last thing that someone needs to hear when they made a mistake is that very thing. My Mother has amazing patience and understanding. An understanding that everyone learns, that sometimes you just need to talk.
Personal sacrifice. When you have children the concept of "it's no longer about you", is taken to a whole new level. I have seen the personal sacrifice of my Mother, helping with homework into the late hours of the night. Or giving of her time to take us here and there to better ourselves, to gain talents and pursue interests. I have a brother with a slight learning disability, but it's enough that it requires quite a bit of time and energy. I have always been amazed at how much my Mother gives to make his life less difficult.
Hugs. My Mom and I are quite close and there have been times where I've been hurt and don't want to talk about it but, I do want a hug.
Family time is important. I grew up in a family where we had dinner together every night. I think that there were times when I didn't want to have to leave my friends to go home for dinner. But, I look back in retrospect and think what would our family be like if we did not have dinner together every night. Thank goodness for home cooked meals.
An understanding that I need space. My Mom is very funny, not your typical Mom. She understands that I shouldn't be calling her everyday. That I need space to grow up, to develop relationships. And most important, I have learned from her that I will need to confide in my husband instead her, when that time comes.
All the medical remedies and diagnoses for sickness. I have been told time and time again that I am very motherly. I always have had roommates or friends that have come to me and said "Tina my head hurts." and sometimes it's "Tina, that boy broke my heart." I've learn how to comfort for physical hurt as well as emotional.
Education is required. I grew up in a house where education was always required. With parents that both have a Master's degree, just comes with the territory. I remember when I went to BYU my Mother told me, "Whatever you do, don't drop out of school if you get married." Well I guess her worries of that were in vain because that never happened. But, I am glad that education was pushed in my family.
Independence, is another characteristic. My mom is fiercely independent. Drives my Dad crazy sometimes. I have learned to push forward with life, no matter what comes. To be self-reliant, and to get things done. Which is probably why I'm usually not satisfied if someone else does it for me.
Little things: Dishsoap and dishwasher soap are not the same, musical appreciation, when you get a bad feeling about a situation trust yourself. Hugs are a remedy for a wide range of things. How to drive a manual car. 
I am so grateful for my Mother, someone who has amazing values, understands love and sacrifice. She has pushed me and helped me become the person I am today. Has always given me the benefit of the doubt, and has always been patient with me when I did not deserve it. Just finds the right things to say. Has been there through it all.
Thank you Mom, I love you.
Selfishness is one of those strange concepts. It is always taught that selfishness is not a desirable trait. However, I believe that there are two types of selfishness. And we only talk about one. This other selfishness is the ability to allow time for yourself and your needs. Being able to do what will make you happy despite others feelings. This is a hard lesson to learn, and a hard characteristic to balance. I think that I learned this concept the hard way. I've always been a person that likes to give and desires to make others happy. At one point I was in a situation where I had a best friend, and I loved and cared about him. But I became so focused on his wants and desires that I didn't look at what I wanted and I became unhappy. I took me a while to figure out that what I wanted and what he wanted were not in alignment. Despite my love for him, a relationship with him never felt right to me. In the end, I made a hard and selfish decision. Selfish in that I choose to make myself happy and had to put aside how he would feel. A rather difficult time, I choose to leave my best friend and it still has an aching feeling, but I did what I needed to do.
And unlike selfishness, selflessness is always praised. I believe that this is the key to friendship and love. It is the ability to give up your desires for someone else. Having an understanding that it isn’t always about you and also that it doesn’t have to be allows you to give of yourself. Last week in a discussion it was said that you shouldn't have to pretend to like something just because someone else does. Well, yes, of course you shouldn't pretend that you do. I think that the idea is that you go or participate because it is enjoyable to your friend. The idea being, it's not what you're doing but who you're with. I am not a huge fan of Sci-Fi things, I'm much more a fantasy person :). But I have a friend who loves Star Trek and I had never seen an episode. He wanted to share something that was enjoyable and important to him with me. And so we watched an episode, now I didn't turn into a Trekkie, but I enjoyed the time spent and the experience gained. It's not always about you or me, it's about appreciating our friends and how they are different. Some of the best experiences have been when I have had an open mind and just gone. And I've learn so much about the different aspects of this life.
Selflessness or lack of has a tremendous impact on a relationship. I want to spend my life with someone who understands selflessness. Because I would rather have someone care more about me than himself because I know that I would do the same. It is so important to have this characteristic, it allows humility and love to be in the relationship. I find that a person that understands selflessness in a relationship tends to find others that share this same trait. I don't understand how a person can believe that they will be able to find someone who is selfless and kindhearted if they themselves don't possess those traits. There are just some traits that need to be mirrored. It also goes the other way, those who are selfish and prideful will probably be in a relationship with someone who has similar traits. This can create interesting situations through out the relationship. Most times a feeling that they have to defend themselves comes through. I would never want to be in that type of situation where my significant other is not on my side. 
Balance in life gives the best kind of life. Having both selfishness and selflessness is how I wish to live my life, having the courage to do what needs to be done, to do what is best for me, and also being able to give my time, my kindness and one day my heart to someone else.
What is to be done? I find myself asking that question a lot lately. I feel like I have this curse on me. This is the curse where the person you want to ask you out doesn't, and not only that, hardly notices you. Meanwhile, the individuals you have no desire to ask you out are of course the ones that do. I ask myself how do I break this curse? Well I guess it takes proactiveness. It is so hard being a girl sometimes, guys just have to go in for "the kill" and ask out a girl. (Granted that is also hard) Girls on the other hand have to set the stage for that final act. Adjust the lightening, the right timing, and scenery to create that situation where a guy will feel like asking you out. Perhaps you wonder why don't I just ask a guy out. Well I have, many times. And have not been satisfied with the results. I find that my strong personality doesn't work well with guys that don't have enough fortitude to ask out a girl.
I am in an interesting situation right now. I am not the type of girl who falls for a guy quickly or easily. For most of my time I'm trekking this life alone, I've learned to live life without that companionship. So for me to actually fall for a guy is a big deal. And I have. But now I'm in this weird situation, I don't know what to do. I don’t know what to do and I can’t seem to remember how to flirt. Flirting with a guy that you know likes you is not a difficult task, but the other way around I'm not quite sure. Guys get spooked easily and it's almost as if you have to wade around in their environment until they become accustom to you being around. Basically like Jack Sparrow and sea turtles. You can slowly move closer without them bolting. The same can be said for girls. I have been in a relationship where everything was just moving too fast and I got spooked and I bolted.
It's been frustrating for me, I'm not my normal opinionated talkative person when I'm around him, I feel like he makes me nervous which is a foreign feeling. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, he is pretty much clueless and I want a guy that likes me for me. With his focus being elsewhere, doesn't know that I'm standing there in front of him. I’ve thought about that a lot, wondering if I have done that very thing. Been so focused on something else in my life that I didn't look up and see him standing there. And maybe he was an amazing guy, and I just didn't see it because I never looked at him. And then when I finally did look up he was gone. I guess only time will tell what is to be done.
What makes relationships so complicated? Why are they so hard?
While in or even before a relationship begins, time is not an element often considered to be a factor. Because this underlying condition has such an affect on relationships many end or never even begin.
I love the concept of time. It is so fascinating to me. How the timing of certain events in your life changes the outcome completely. Thus the saying “at the right place at the right time”
When it comes to relationships it is said that timing is everything. Well I don’t think it’s everything, but it certainly plays a crucial role in the outcome of a relationship or if one will even start. I think of it in relating to elevators. Sometimes you ride the elevator alone, sometimes you miss the elevator, but sometimes you make it to the elevator and that other person is on the same elevator and it works. Maybe perhaps sometimes there is someone holding the elevator door for you, waiting for you to get on. But it is being together on the same level or in this case elevator.
Everyone is different; everyone sees and feels things differently, at different speeds, at different moments and in different degrees. So of course individuals are going to have issues with relationships. When does it work perfectly? When the timing is right, when both persons are on the same level at the same time, wanting the same thing. But, this is not always the case. A lot of times one person develops feelings for another, and the other does not reciprocate these same feelings. Or perhaps that person does not reciprocate the same feelings at the same time. A lot of dating issues come from one person not being on the same level as the other. One is pursuing the other, and if there is not an immediate mirroring of feelings the pursuer stops pursuing. But maybe there is more to that, maybe the pursuer had months to obtain interest and a desire to pursue. And immediate reciprocal of feelings would in fact be irrational. So timing comes into play, one individual may have had longer to develop feelings than another. But still this doesn’t always matter because different people develop interest at different speeds, degrees and also in different ways.
So is this where patience begins? And when does being patient begin to not be in your best interest?
These are difficult questions. I’m a logical thinker, which is not always a good mix with relationships. Usually I look at the situation and ask myself, “Is this worth the risk? the time? the energy?” “What is the probability that this relationship will work out? Is the probability worth it?” Will my investment of time and energy be worth the risk and end result. In the case of being patient, asking yourself similar questions and assessing the situation could be just what you needed. First, you need to ask yourself, ok is this relationship in the “not going to happen” or “perhaps” or “ya, could happen” stage. Obviously if it’s in the “not going to happen” stage, it is time to peruse the selection of singles again. Ok, once you’ve got a feel for what stage, ask yourself another question, is the time and effort that I will put into this be worth the end result? And if the answer is yes, then yea it might be beneficial to you to be patient. Sometimes love is not gained through an immediate connection, or by dating, but sometimes through smaller ways, through friendship and kindness. And though they weren’t totally on board before, small moments can add up and turn into a wonderful relationship.
So perhaps you decided to be patient, when is it no longer the best thing for you? I don’t think there is a one single moment that determines this, but perhaps when you are no longer happy. Sometimes I feel that we are masochistic, in that we put ourselves knowingly through pain. It’s painful when you’re in the “friendzone” and you want to be more than that. But yet you stay because you feel that seeing this person everyday is better than not seeing them at all. There will be a point where either there is a relationship or there isn’t.
My friend JP gave the example of the movie “Bed of Roses” In the story Lewis sends this woman (Lisa) he doesn’t even know flowers. In reality a guy like this becomes a creepin’ creeper. Lisa is unsure about him, but he is persistent continually giving her flowers, he’s in too deep, he is in love. Lewis was ready to be in love. But sometimes we are not all ready to open our hearts, sometimes we’ve been hurt, sometimes we feel that we don’t have time for love. There is a fear in opening up to others, you don’t necessarily need to be completely open. Being able to be open and feel comfortable telling someone anything comes with time. This is another gradual process. It’s normal to feel like you can't tell someone everything or anything. A trust and a bond need to be built. There are many aspects of relationships that aren’t fast, that take time to grow and develop.
With the fast paced society and so many instant things surrounding us, we are used to, instant communication, instant breakfast, instant results, instant knowledge ect... Things are so readily available, but love is not instant, love is not shrink-wrapped and ready to buy. Love and relationships need to be able to grow. Relationships take effort and patience in the amount of time it can take to grow. So love and relationships take time, effort, patience and growth.
We all want to be in love, there is nothing else like it. But there are some who are afraid of being in love. Patience is sometimes what helps with those who are afraid. But most importantly love is not instant. The secret recipe only has two ingredients, the right person at the right time.
I have often been asked the question "why did you buy a mustang tina?" or "everyone has a mustang, why would you want one." Well, let's take a trip back to seven-year old Tina to gain a better understanding. When I was seven years old I got a red mustang barbie car for Christmas. I think this is where the love for mustangs really started. That was the coolest car, you could even adjust the car to take just two people or four people. Surprisingly, Ken didn't drive the mustang, it was Barbie's car and she drove it. Wonder if that has any connection to my personality.
Another factor was my Dad and his dad. Both lovers of cars, my grandpa was a mechanic and taught my Dad. I found a connection to my Dad and also Grandfather through cars. At a young age I was able to name cars, and distinguish between different makes. There have been times where our whole conversation would revolve around cars and I loved it. My Dad is a incredibly smart guy and I have learned a lot from him. We both own mustangs now. I suppose it's a compliment, he bought on shortly after I bought mine. Guess he thought I had a really cool car, or I just wasn't allowed to have the fastest car in the family. His has the Shelby GT version.
History has always been so intriguing to me. Why are people the way they are? what makes them believe the way they do? how can I better understand this culture? I believe that the Ford Mustang is one of the most successful car ever. It has been around since 1964 1/2, it certainly has with stood the test of time. In an article this was stated "We embrace the Pony wars," said James Owens, Mustang marketing manager. "Mustang is the authentic American muscle car. In fact, Mustang is the only one of the original pony cars from the 1960s to live on into the 21st century with no interruption in production." 1. It is an American Dream car, the hard working, middle income individual can afford a mustang, a sports car. It represents America and freedom to me.
Technical details of my mustang. It can go 0-60mph in 6.6 seconds, and does a 15 second quarter mile. 2. Here's a little perspective the Chevy Corvette (C6 ZO6, this car is a V8) does the quarter mile in 12.2 seconds. The Mustang V8 does it in 13.5 seconds. 15 seconds is not to shabby for a v6 car. And I can get 30 miles to the gallon on the freeway :)
Interesting conversations have come from this topic. Many times I get the argument that the reason they would not buy a mustang is because "everyone has one." I thought about this comment and came to this conclusion. The reason for not wanting to get a mustang because "everyone has one" is so you don't appear to be influenced by popular culture. But isn't the underlining reason to make decisions not based on what others are doing? Not liking something because everyone has it is or likes it is doing the same thing, but the opposite. Instead of getting it, you are refusing to purchase. Either way, both actions are dependent on what others are doing. Whether you are choosing to follow or reject. Instead a decision not based on others is how a true independent decision is accomplished.
Giselle the 2007 Mustang
V6
210 horsepower
vista blue
manual
0-60 in 6.6 seconds
added billet grille :)
hooray for history, i totally sited the sources :)
1. http://media.ford.com/newsroom/feature_display.cfm?release=24065
2. http://www.modernracer.com/fordmustangv6.html
First Dates are like Job Interviews
You may wonder why I think first dates are like job interviews. I think that both persons are interviewing one another. There are lots of similarities between dates and job interviews.
#1 Shower
Yup.
#2 Wear something nice
Don't make girls feel awkward when you show up in some wrinkled t-shirt you found on your bedroom floor. I think that if girls are putting effort into getting ready for a date, boys should also put some effort in also. You don't have to dress up like you would for a job interview but they same concept is there. Dress to impress. Girls are usually more fashion conscience and will be able to tell if you wore your favorite old t-shirt and beat-up pair of shoes.
#3 Be on time
I've had personal experience with this one. Let me say it's not the best way to impress a girl. In fact I was thoroughly unimpressed. Make it feel like you prepared to go on a date with her. This is not a casual hang out type setting where you show up at your leisure. A date is planned.
#4 Have some conversation prepared.
Interview tips always suggest to have some conversation and questions prepared beforehand for a job interview. Think of some questions you would really like answered. What do you want to talk about on this date? What questions are going to help you get to know this girl better? Being prepared with conversation can help during those slightly awkward first date moments of silence.
#5 Do some research
If you are interested, do some research. While talking to her, make mental notes of favorites, things she enjoys doing, what she does not enjoy. Experiences that she has had, which are just more pieces to the puzzle. It is always good to research a company before you interview with them, usually reading their website and understanding what exactly the companies does along with their mission statement helps determine interest. However, that girl you are interested doesn't have a mission statement on the internet, (unless you know how to properly use facebook) getting to know her as a friend first can help determine if she is worth the effort.
Be prepared.
Both are seeing if there is a fit for both, and if the first interview went well, there will be a second interview (or date). Interviews with companies or "dates" are not one-sided. Companies are looking for the right fit, and so are people who are dating. Sometimes there are very good candidates that fulfill a lot of qualifications, but sometimes they are also not the best fit. Many times the timing may not be right. And the person that came for an interview is trying to apply for a position that is not open at the moment. Take the time to prepare physically and mentally.
After talking with a friend, this was suggested. That a screening process is also in place when dating. So even before an interview canadites are screened and not all applicants are choosen for an interview. This is especially effective if your position is in high demand.
Listen, and communicate back.
Are respectful. Not just of her, but of others.
Open doors whether it is car door or door to a building.
Are honest, no one wants to be lied to, don’t be so afraid to hurt her feelings that you lie. That is never the right way to go.
On a side note: If you are going to break up with a girl, don't put her through misery first by being mean, attempting to make her break up with you. Stop being a pansy, tell her how you feel. Breaking up is as much a part of dating as getting together. Express your feelings, and ya of course she'll be mad, no one likes to be dumped. But be kind and considerate of the situation.
Give Flowers! Find out her favorite flower. You don’t need a reason to give her flowers, sometimes it means even more when there is no reason.
Pay. Much is seen in a guy that pays.
Another side note: Guys ever wonder why girls don't like to pick where to eat... well maybe it is because you are the one paying. As girls we do not know where you feel comfortable eating. We do not know your financial situation. Options are always a good way to go. But don't try to escape responsibility by throwing it at us.
Kisses on the forehead are amazing. Way incredible amazing. At least my heart flutters.
Tell her she’s beautiful. Whether it's your wife, your sister, your mother, or your grandmother. Some days we just don't feel like we are beautiful, and hearing it on those days makes all the difference. But especially tell your wife/fiancee/girlfriend, we need to know that you think we are beautiful.
Side note:(Tell her she looks cute when she’s mad)
Do little things just because. Send a note because you were thinking of her. Pay attention notice things that she likes and surprise her with them. Take the initiative and be creative. This is the basic formula for being romantic.
Take time figure out what’s wrong don’t just walk away. A girl wants to know if you are a guy that is going to stick around through the good and bad. She is going to watch how you react.
Talk! Add to the conversation, girls love to talk, but they also like to listen. Show them you can carry an intelligent conversation.
Take the initiative, don’t always wait for her.
Dance with her, whether at a dance, a wedding, or in the middle of a street.
Tease, flirt with her, be playful. There is something about being playful and flirty.
(throw her in the water or pretend to throw her in.)
Take care of her. Give her your jacket when she’s cold. Give her soup when she is sick. Give her support when she is scared and sad.
Touch her arms softly, run you fingers through her hair.
Tell her how you feel. Whether it is a simple, “I enjoy spending time with you” to “I miss you” to “I love you”
Treats as an equal, girls are not dishwashers, instead help or do them for her without her asking.
Side note: Men and women are not the same, but should be equal in a relationship. Equal in the sense of one person does not control the relationship. But two people communicating and deciding together how to handle situations. Men and women are made for different purposes, one is not better than the other. Just different. It just makes sense for a man and women to be together, opposites compliment each other, and the missing pieces are filled in.
Girls spend time getting all dolled up for you, don’t make her feel all awkward when you show up in so old t-shirt and your favorite pair of beat up shoes.
You are a reflection of her taste and judgment. Be someone that they want to introduce to their friends and family. She does not want to worry about whether or not you will say or do something inappropriate or rude.