A friend asked me a simple question. "Did you get everything you wanted?" I responded, "Well that depends, the things that I truly desire in life don't come in boxes, but did I receive lovely consumer products? then, yes."
So..what do I really want for Christmas, I feel like I should have a song right here, kinda like in a movie.
My memory raced back to earlier this month when my friends and I wrote a letter to Santa at the mall. We sat down and eagerly grabbed our letter postcard and pencil. The others started writing immediately. I didn't know what I wanted to ask Santa. The others were mainly asking for a man. I ended up asking for a "time turner" like from harry potter, I feel like I never have enough time, I wish sometimes that sleeping wasn't required because I'd rather be learning or doing something. I do love sleeping, but I sometimes wish that sleep would be a recreational activity. There are just never enough hours in a day.
I look over and they are asking for a wonderful man to fall into their lives. I guess I wonder about asking for that type of thing. How well is Santa at matching making anyways? What happens if I don't like the guy he brought. What if I have a specific guy, and most importantly ... does he want to be my present? Maybe these worries are just things assumed, and he of course wants to be in a box with a bow. I guess my other issue is he didn't do anything, he just appeared. How is he going to appreciate what he has if he didn't work for it?
So do you want a man for Christmas? ...I suppose a guy is vital for the other things that are on my list. hehe. I think that I desire typical things in life. I want to fall in love, I want to start a family. I want to serve my husband and my family. I want a place to call my own, where I don't have to worry about putting holes in walls. And where I don't mind sharing a bathroom. I want to learn more. I want to learn another language, I want to learn to play the guitar. I want to travel with my best friend. But, I did receive many things that I wanted for Christmas. I got to go home and see my family and friends.
Whether you are a Jane Austen fan or not, that gal is funny. Her humor is settle, and quite hidden at times. Only those who are fully attentive receive the full benefits from the text. One notion that I completely agree with Jane Austen on is her thoughts on "quick love", the over-giving of affection and how flirting can make you look ridiculous. Her stories have both quick found love and the love that reveals itself later. However, the best relationships are the ones that have had time to grow and mature. I tend to gravitate towards the relationship that are more than just surface level. Relationships that run deep. "...and she will be the most determined flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous. A flirt, too, in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person; and from the ignorance and emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite. In this danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will follow wherever Lydia leads. -- Vain, ignorant, idle, and absolutely uncontrolled!" -Pride and Prejudice
Sometimes I feel like I would have to become a ridiculous flirt to receive any attention from a guy. I feel that in my personality I am friendly towards everyone, but I am not quick to be flirty or to just give my affections away to just anyone. The other day while in a conversation a boy commented that a flirts is a confident girl. Well...I don't know about that statement. I would argue that it goes both ways. I don't feel that I lack confidence, I don't feel that I am incapable of flirting. I just choose whom I wish to flirt with and also when I want to flirt. I have no desire to flirt with someone that I have no interest in, I feel it to be somewhat selfish. I tend to be very personal about my affections and that includes my flirting. I am different in various settings, ranging from large group settings, to smaller, to one on one, as are most people.
It is also very possible that girls that lack confidence use flirting as a way to reassure themselves and fulfill something. I see many girls who almost require some guys attention, almost like an energy source that keeps them going. Is this what Jane Austen refers to as the worst and meanest degree of flirtation? I suppose that it depends on ones views are on the purpose of flirting. One view could to just to satisfy personal satisfaction at the expense of another, than could be a signal used to show interest in another person in hopes of a deeper relationship. Maybe there is a middle ground that has a little bit of both. However, the second view satisfies the first one as well. I guess honestly the first view point angers me, I do feel like it is selfish and has no regard for others feelings. I want my flirting to mean something. I want it to be real. And I definitely want the other person to know that it is real.
